Relationships 101

I had a great weekend. It started Friday night when I got to hang out with my new friend from Bridgewater Church, Stephanie. I gave into the pressure and tried the Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha Iced. I must say after experiencing it, I could do without the peppermint. Then seeing Shaun Groves on Saturday night was great. He remembered me from Pinnacle. He even invited me to have coffee with him next time I'm in Nashville...GREAT GUY and he's hilarious yet very humble. Sunday, I had the privilage of leading worship for Adventure Church in Maryville, TN. I had a great time there and heard a great message. I want to talk a little about what I learned and share it with you.

Relationships 101 (my title...not his)
We should have lots of friends. in the church world and pastoring I've noticed that it is hard to have non-church friends. For me, I'm in a new season of life where I'm working a "secular" job and I am developing friendships with non-church people. These people are nice people, but they are non church going. Its hard to believe but there are people around us we are influencing. You may not even recognize it, but people are influenced by you. Whether its the music, the language, the culture, and style and so on that you present. John Maxwell was quoted in saying that in a lifetime you will have influenced over 10,000 people. That's hard for me to grasp. Because I dont know 10,000 people. On a side note, I think that's why people in the public spotlight should be more of a role model than they are. If we, the common person could influence 10,000 people in a lifetime, imagine how many people Kenny Chesney could impact. If he had 10,000 at a concert, that's probably a small concert for him. Just an example none-the-less. The book of Proverbs is full of passages that deal with the issue of friends.

Proverbs 18:24b- There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Relationships take a HIGH level of trust. Its hard to gain trust but easy to lose it. The people who are closest to you are the ones who are influencing you. Think about those people who are in you "inner circle" , the ones that you run around with. We have to be careful who we let in. Here are a few points to ponder when it comes to relationship/friendships.

1.Be committed to them. Nobody likes a friend who is here one day and gone the next. Nothing says I love you more that a person who bails on you.

2.Be confidential. This is a no brainer. The conversations that are shared should be kept between you to unless asked for permission to share certain things. If one person is sharing something personal, i'm sure they don't want the world to know.

3. Be candid. Be honest and upfront. By this time, you should have earned the right to speak into someone's life. Confront them in a LOVING way if they are headed down a road they shouldn't be. Also, be prepared for them to be candid with you b/c its going to sting no matter what side you are on, the giving or the receiving end.

4. Build them up and Be Consistant. No body like a wishy-washy friend. Someone who isn't consistant with them. Building them up comes in the form of encouragment. I think for men this is a hard one. But, when practiced, it's very fulfilling and rewarding.

Alright, that's what I learned, your thoughts on this. By the way, I LOVE federal holidays, I'm off today! More tonight...maybe!

Kevin