Frustrated is an understatement

Ok so I’m really frustrated right now. Ok, so what you are about to read are a few things that have been building up for some time. I want to be as honest as I possibly can be without calling people out. My job is not to point out faults in others while I have a ton of faults in my own life…I KNOW THIS. I say all of this to say, this is a side you haven’t seen or might be surprised to see. So, please say a prayer because life for me at this moment is rough. I preached a few weeks ago that people wear masks. So, this is me, taking my mask off and taking a look into the mess of my life. It's probably more theraputic for me to even write this. Who knows.

I think it’s fair to say that I’m frustrated with life at this moment. So the results of my back were NOT what I expected. As a matter of fact, I feel just a clueless now as I did before I went to the doctor. I’m really ticked about that. I’ve been in pain for almost a year and it stinks!!!!

I’m frustrated with my job. I have a stinkin’ college degree and it doesn’t mean jack. Something has got to give in this area. I feel like I’m wasting my time. This is a huge area that i'm struggling with. I feel like God has something in store for me in this area. More than what i'm doing. If this is me hanging out in the wilderness, i'm ready to be led somewhere else now. The music thing…well I don’t even want to go into that right now.

Friends…hm..people I call friends. People who I call friends…where are they??? Was it even true friendship? I am beginning to wonder. People I spoke to on a regular basis I haven’t spoken to in months. You know I came from a life that I would have considered pretty real. I was surrounded by people who love me, supported me and would have died for me. I felt it, I knew it. But was it real? I am by no means trying to give any kind of guilt out to those of you who are my friends out there. Please hear that! I am NOT trying to make anyone feel bad. I am just wondering what my life was and am being a little bit open about my awareness. Out of 100's of people that I would have called my friends. I just wonder what were they? Are relationships based on physical interaction? Think about those you would consider part of your GROUP. Have you reached out and told them how much you love them? I know this is a little more personal than other blogs. My fear of posting more of my inter battles are because I HATE to be fussed over so please no calls. I just wanted to set the question out there. Are your relationships really real? Or are they based on some kind of situation. Work, church, location? Or are they true thru and thru?


I miss my family and I miss my friends.
Annoyed at life….